I'm Couture Bitch!

WE MAKE SOAP FOR BITCHES! 

Bitches are tricky people.  You never know what a bitch will want.  It depends on what type of bitchy mood you catch them in.  Are you a bitch with sensitive skin, but you also want to smell like you slept in a bed of roses all night?  Well, well, well...you are a tricky bitch, aren't you? Do you claim to be a vegetarian, but secretly eat burgers when no one is looking?  TRICKY BITCH! 

TIME TO LEARN SOMETHING BITCH!  

Bitchy soaps are cold-processed unless otherwise noted.  Cold processed soaps take from 4 to 6 weeks to fully cure.  Curing should be seen as a cooking process.  Eating uncooked food may be harmful to your body.  The same goes for uncured soaps. 

We know that waiting a month and a half for soap sounds insane, but, aren't thirsty enough to put our Bitchy name on any old soap.  We wait on our soaps because its worth it. What's not worth it?  Soaps being sold that have been purchased pre-made in blocks.  They are then melted down in a microwave and then have colors and fragrances added.  This is not how we roll. We are proud that our products are unique, one-of-a-kind, handmade, and fabulous!

Our soaps start with just three main ingredients, Coconut Oil, Lye (sodium hydroxide), and Distilled Water.  These ingredients have been used since soap making first began.  Originally the oil was lard.  Many soaps today still are made with lard.  Ummm....we think that's just not sexy.  We cater to the bitch that likes an upgrade.  You can not go wrong with coconut oil. 

From there we start using our foodie and fashion background, creating divinely detailed couture bars of soap.  Our soaps are pretty and absolutely one-of-a-kind. We have a variety to choose from with different fragrances, color combinations, and exfoliants.  The basic soap is always the coconut oil, lye, and liquid.

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I'm a Basic Bitch, and you have so many choices, what should I do? Are you saying you have extremely sensitive, hard to deal with, SUPER BITCHY skin?  Okay, please try "Becky"...this is the most basic a bitch can ever get. No infusions, no fragrance, just soap.

Okay, I think maybe I'm not Becky.  I like to let my hair down a little.

Are you saying you're better than Becky?  You're not a basic bitch with skin that freaks out at every twist and turn?  You are so bitchy talking about her behind her back.  

The next choice is our soaps with pure essential oils added.  The soaps are infused with lemongrass, orange, rosemary, eucalyptus, and more.  These are essential oils and not fragrance oils.  We also add natural exfoliants like strawberry seeds, shredded loofah, and lavender seeds.  All natural.  Beneficial in many ways. You really can't go wrong.

I like the first two options.  But, I'm ready for a party!  

Okay!  Wait for it!

We replace the water with espresso, tea, and wine.   The espresso and tea varieties contain caffeine.  We don't know how much.  We aren't scientists.  We don't have time for that shit!  Customers have reported being kept late by using our espresso products.  Do not use this at a time when you should be going to sleep.  YOU'VE BEEN WARNED BITCH!

The wine infusions may contain alcohol, but you won't get drunk, and you shouldn't eat our products unless we tell you to. 

I've been feeling more like a YOLO Bitch lately. 

Be careful!  Don't hurt yourself. No matter what.  We would not make anything Bitchy products that would hurt you. 

Starting with our all natural base we include small amounts of natural mica colorant (an ingredient in makeup such as lipstick, eyeshadow, and blush).  From there we add fragrance oils to please the ADVENTUROUS BITCH that lives life to the fullest.  These fabulous, couture, pheromone inducing blends will have you obsessed. Boy Toy, Zaddy, High Maintenance, and Princess Bride will satisfy your eyes, nose, and body. 

ARE YOUR PRODUCTS ALL NATURAL?

 NO!  Neither are you!  Don't lie. You got you've had work done, didn't you?  Okay!  I'm not judging, I'm just saying, don't act like completely natural is always the way to go.  Be proud of your enhancements bitch!  You paid for them!  We did too!

We started out as a completely all natural brand.  Oddly enough, from time-to-time, a bitch would complain because our bath bombs didn't change the color of her water.  WOW!  Really bitch!

We thought it was important to be super clean and totally natural, but it turns out that this isn't what everyone wants in life.  Sometimes a bitch wants to see a colorful ring around her tub.  

Most of our products are all natural.  We disclose all ingredients in the product listing.  We are careful not to use controversial ingredients such as palm oil (still natural). But honey is also controversial depending on whom you talk to.  We are sorry.  No, not sorry!  We aren't here to please everybody!  We use honey in our lip products and they are fucking fabulous bitch!  

Our supplier certifies that our fragrance oils are in compliance with the standards of the International Fragrance Association, and are completely skin safe. 

• All products are handmade in small batches. 

• No two soap bars will ever be the same. 

• All ingredients are skin safe.

• We only purchase fragrance oils that are NOT on the CA Prop 65 list of toxic chemicals. 

• We also only use phthalate-free products.  

• All products are manufactured in Nevada, USA. 

Yaaaasssss Bitch!  We know you are a Squad Bitch and you like keep your shit exclusive.  Drop us a message in the contact forms and we will try our best to accommodate you.  Our Bitchy Products are perfect as bridesmaid gifts, wedding gifts, baby shower, dog birthday party gifts bags and so much more.  

Of course.  Send a message to hello@bitchybathandbody.com.  We will need to know where you would sell the products.  Include your retail business name and location. We will do our research and get back to you as soon as we can.  Remember that we will need at least 6 weeks for any special orders. Once we have an established relationship, we can keep Bitchy Products in production to suit your needs.    

Go to the shop and see what we have in store for you. Products come and go.  We are a natural soap couturier.  We may stop making a product without notice.  If you see something you love, give it a try.  Let us know your opinion.  Join our social media for discounts and free give-a-ways.  You can also join our private, bitchy group.  

DO YOU HAVE A CUSTOMER REFERRAL PROGRAM?

This is your FAQ Answer. Make sure your writing is clear and concise. It’s a good idea to review what you’ve written and ask yourself the following - if this was my first time visiting the site, would I fully understand this answer? Then revise or expand as necessary. Consider adding a photo or video as a visual tool or for extra impact.

WHAT IF I AM NOT SATISFIED WITH BITCHY PRODUCTS?

This is your FAQ Answer. Make sure your writing is clear and concise. It’s a good idea to review what you’ve written and ask yourself the following - if this was my first time visiting the site, would I fully understand this answer? Then revise or expand as necessary. Consider adding a photo or video as a visual tool or for extra impact.